Surge

 I feel it in my stomach. 

In the small of my back, and between my shoulder blades.

“Excitement and anxiety are both just surges of emotion,” my therapist tells me. “You decide what emotion to assign the energy.” It makes sense.

So I try.

And I don’t know how to make the surge of emotion not make me feel like I want to scream or cry or turn it all off because it’s too big so I just sit and stare and be nothing.

Excitement doesn’t feel like that.