Micki's Musings

2/21/17 I can't sleep and I can't figure out why. I'm on day five of tossing and turning all night long. I'm not dealing with higher than normal levels of stress in any area of my life as far as I can tell. I'm feeling better, being there more for my kids, staying off social media more often, creating and maintaining healthy boundaries with people in my life, including men. I'm feeling more stable and whole. I'm eating better, exercising kind of regularly. I'm dealing with the ex without huge anxieties. But I lay awake at night with these disjointed thoughts that, to my logical mind, don't really impact me too much. I am fighting an internal battle that I do not understand. I'm trying to write it out to work it out, but I don't know what it is. Things are good. Things are okay. Why can't my mind recognize that? Is this some kind of new level of depression? Are my chemicals imbalancing in some new way? If so, why? 2/22/17 I had

Wow, what a ride. This life. It's so fascinating, topsy turvy, all around. What a week. Last weekend, I attended another amazing seminar where I learned some great tools to overcoming fear and taking control of my own happiness and peace. And boy have I been tested on it this week. Not in any really big ways. No huge trials or attacks. Kind of. But little things, chip, chip, chipping away at me. Continuing to deal with legal mumbo jumbo. Continuing to deal with people who misunderstand and judge. Continuing to deal with men. Continuing to try and find balance in taking care of me and giving my kids what they need and teaching us all how to be happy and healthy and safe. Good things happen every day. Happy things happen every day. I must continue to draw lines and enforce boundaries. But even as I fight to maintain my footing and progress, I feel off-kilter again. Something is swirling and stirring up inside of me. The last two nights I have not been able to sleep. That hasn