Micki's Musings

The universe has a way of keeping things in balance. I've learned this and life tends to make sure I never forget it. I had a few weeks of calm, of peace, so of course, in come the storms, both literal and figurative.  Tropical storms, earthquakes, fires, wars and rumors of wars leaving such destruction. My dear friend finding out she has stage three cancer. My student in the hospital with a life-threatening illness. My ex having another episode, blaming me for his problems, and taking me to court again. So many in such conflict politically, emotionally, physically. Chaos. Utter chaos. Yesterday, I trembled with the weight of it. I literally trembled, my body convulsing with the battle that raged within me. My old instincts tell me to break and run and be afraid. My new instincts know I have all the powers and nothing to fear. Of course this comes, now. I was in the eye of the storm for a while. The winds buffeted me a little bit, but I laughed at them because they had no power.

It's been nice getting to know you. I thought I knew you before, but I was only acquainted with your surface. Now, as I've come to know your deep and dark recesses, you've also shown me the heights of your beauty and grandeur. My senses are more acute, my insights more broad. Sunsets are more vibrant and foods taste more delicious. Spending time with my children and my family feeds my soul once again. I feel and see and hear so much more than I used to. I live, now. I don't merely survive. The other day, I sat on the back porch of my friend's home waiting for him to finish a project. He has a wall of boulders in his backyard and I felt like climbing them, so I did. This week is Homecoming week at my school and each day is a different dress-up day. I felt like dressing up in crazy outfits along with the students, so I did. At a restaurant the other night there was a table full of teenage girls wearing animal costumes next to us. I felt like making friends with them