Win

I had an interesting mindset shift recently. In my new career, there is a lot of encouragement and motivation and recognition of even small wins. Every time I have been contacted in my new career, it has been to praise and encourage or let me know I have been referred or specifially requested because of how well I have served previous clients. However, the first few months, even though all interaction had been positive, I found myself feeling heavy anxiety whenever any of the leadership wanted to speak to me.

I quickly realized this was because in the past, whenever admin reached out it was because of a conflict or issue that had arisen that they wanted to address with me. Oftentimes, it was based on something that I hadn’t actually done “wrong” but that was construed as some sort of mistake on my part where I had to clarify, defend, and mediate. It didn’t happen frequently (until my last year with a different school and admin), but it still apparently left its mark.

I am extremely grateful for this new space where I am recognized for the value I have and all that I contribute. And today, someone reached out to me and asked me to clarify something and it didn’t make my heart skip or cause me dry mouth. I simply reached out, answered the question, and moved on with my day. And when my trainers reach out and want to talk with me, I don’t stress and go into high alert mode. I simply let them know I’d be happy to chat and look forward to the visit.

It’s crazy to consider all the mental exhaustion that happened for me as a teacher that seemed so “normal” at the time. And it fills me with gratitude that I am where I am now and that those scars are healing over.

What a massive win.