Mother Eve
During a temple session, I connected with a far distant, but oh so precious relative of mine: Eve. It's no secret that part of the temple ordinances pertain to the creation and the experiences of Adam and Eve. Throughout this particular session, I felt I understood her on a deeper, more personal level than ever before, so much so that I saw myself as Eve. It was as if I was the one who chose to eat the fruit and make those commitments to God. It was a beautiful, sacred experience. At the time, I felt I was just getting a glimpse of a much greater message that Heavenly Father wanted to communicate with me. Since then, I've continued to ponder that experience and worked to be open to receiving more of the pieces of what it meant.
I've turned to Eve for perspective and inspiration even before this. Soon after I filed for divorce, I was still feeling guilt-ridden for destroying an eternal family, even though it was a toxic and dangerous situation. I needed additional reassurance from God that I had done the right thing. At the temple, I realized that Eve very intentionally chose to eat the fruit. She chose to break a lesser law to fulfill a greater one. She was not tricked into it by the adversary, but prompted to it by a greater power. She knew she could not fulfill her greater purpose without going through pain and hardship and sacrifice. She chose to eat that fruit so she and her posterity could have joy and eternal life. I was blessed to know that I had done the same thing in choosing to end my marriage. While marriage is by no means a lesser law, for my situation, I did what had to be done to save the temporal and spiritual lives of myself and my children.
Last night, as I drove in my car, I was blessed with another realization about my dear Mother Eve and her example for me. When she ate the fruit, she had no way of knowing whether Adam would eat it, too. She knew, for her, what she had to do, and she did it. Adam could have said no. He could have been too afraid to leave the safety and comfort of the garden, and he could have sent her on her way, alone. I'm sure she knew he loved her and hoped he would join her, but there had to have been some doubt, some misgivings. Regardless, she made the choice she needed to make for herself and her posterity whether or not Adam chose to be by her side. This gave me a great deal of peace about my current single status.
I have yearned for an Adam to be by my side. I have yearned for a man to awake, arise, open his eyes, and see me. But I can't wait for him to do so in order to move forward in God's purpose for me. God has prompted, inspired, and directed me in many things I need to do in order to fulfill His will for me on this earth. It is my time to awake, arise, open my eyes, and see all the the Father has for me to do.
I have eaten not only the forbidden fruit, but tasted of the fruit of the tree of life. I must be as Eve, and choose the path God has for me independently, purposefully, intentionally. If my Adam chooses to be by my side, wonderful. We will enrich and bring joy to each other's lives. If I must walk this mortal part of my journey alone, it will still be wonderful, for I will always have my Savior, Jesus Christ as my partner, not only beside me, but before me and behind me. And I will always be surrounded by the courage and love of angels on this earth and beyond the veil. It is possible and even necessary for me to be walking this path as a single woman right now. I am as Eve: independent, powerful, courageous, and determined to do God's will above all else, regardless of the choices other people make.
I am looking forward to the day when I can meet my mother, sister, and dear friend Eve. What an embrace that will be as I thank her for her courage, determination, and example to me.
We are both such extraordinary zombie raccoon Medusa Wonder Women of the cosmos. With wings.
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