Micki's Musings

Balance. It's a tricky thing to keep. I am constantly swinging back and forth, shifting from one side to the other, frequently flailing my arms, desperate to stay on course. But, every once-in-a-while, I hit the mark. I'm centered, focused, on point. I've got this. Then, something or other or myself pushes me off-kilter and I am unsteady once more. That's okay, though. I always have my safety net. Lots of them. People and tools and helpers and reminders in all varieties catch me when I fall. I never fail to get back up onto the rope and keep trying, and my balance is improving. More and more often, I feel centered. I know I'll never be perfectly balanced all the time. That's too high of an expectation. It's about progress, not perfection. Sometimes I'll slack off in my physical health, sometimes in my spiritual. Sometimes I'll let my obsessions and addictions have too much control. Sometimes I'll just plain get tired. But I'll get a littl...

Last weekend was very big. I had someone be afraid of me because of lies. That hurt. For a few hours, I thought a dear friend had given up and that I had lost her. That was scary. I had to make the ex accountable for his actions and he went to jail again. That's always hard. I had someone blame me for all the things the ex has done wrong. That was irritating. Someone I had begun to care for deeply betrayed me in a very huge way. My heart broke. All of this happened within three days, one thing after the other, pressure after pressure, weight after weight, pain after pain. "No mortal could bear this," I told a friend through my tears. "No human being could endure this pressure without being crushed. But I will not give up. I will not give in. I will transform instead. I will be stronger than I am. I'm a super hero." The spider bit me, I fell into the radioactive sludge, I entered the experimental chamber, I traveled from the distant planet, my elements re...